Last updated on April 8th, 2019
With Lucas extending his China trip to finalize tooling at the factory, I’ve been home alone for nearly two weeks. Just me, two extra snuggly kitties, a pound of honey pumpkin caramels, and season one of Transparent (Have you discovered this show yet? I’ve renamed Amazon Prime Instant Video: “Procrastination Station”). Also, should I be telling a bunch of strangers on the internet that I’m home alone? Potential creepers, I’m here with TWO FEROCIOUS HUNTER CATS who I’m pretty sure file their nails into razor blades while I sleep.
By “hunt” I mean: stare at the wall and mew until a human handles the situation. They’re basically arachnid sighthounds. Without a husband to do to the exterminating, last week’s prey nearly killed me. No joke. Aioli spotted the largest, furriest, scariest house spider crawling on the ceiling right above the couch. Surely coming to get me.
Can we just pause for a second to acknowledge that the ceiling is just about the most terrifying place to try to kill a spider? One wrong move and you’ll have a spider falling on your face. Or worse: into the blankets on the couch, where you can now never comfortably sit again.
But I’m almost thirty, I can handle a measly goodluck spider. So I pulled our flimsy plastic bar stool into the living room and worked up the courage to attack the spider with a crumpled paper towel. I smushed, turned, and squished, certain the spider was done for. When I pulled the paper towel away, the very-much-alive beast rappelled directly toward me, now obviously pissed off. The momentum from my gut-wrenching squeal teetered the bar stool out from under me and I went crashing to the hardwood floor. Note: Get sturdier bar stools.
In case you’re wondering, I eventually captured the spider. Though he put up a good fight, using scare tactics to inflict tennis ball-sized battle wounds on my knee and the top of my foot in the process. Plus dark purple bruises on the inside of my impacted toes. Well played, spider.
While we’re on the subject of spiders: a couple of years ago, my dad and I were in the backyard doing some work on my childhood playhouse when I spotted a black widow on the wood he was sawing, about 2 feet from me. He insisted I stay put, while he took a large swing of his hammer, with utmost confidence he wouldn’t miss. When something bounced off the wood and hit my leg, you can’t even imagine the pitch of my scream.
Guts, guys. BLACK WIDOW GUTS. On my bare leg.
These honey pumpkin caramels have absolutely nothing to do with spiders (thankfully), but if you’ve recently had a run-in, a pound of these caramels will surely ease the stress. Each caramel is filled with robust honey sweetness wrapped up with a hint of spiced pumpkin pie and a dollop of cream. A fancy version of a traditional nut & chew, with crispy pumpkin seeds subbing in for nuts. Honey caramels are smoother with much deeper flavor than their traditional corn syrup counterparts. Use clover honey for a more subtle flavor or organic wildflower honey if you want to give the honey its time in the spotlight.
I’m most definitely wrapping up a combo pack of these honey pumpkin caramels and some salted honey lavender caramels to give as Halloween treats to my friends. Oh how I wish I could pass them out to trick-or-treaters.
Got a sweet tooth? Try these other caramel flavors:
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